Best for
Years 7-11 health and hauora lessons focused on communication, peer relationships, boundaries, digital safety, or building safer class and team culture.
Health / Hauora • Years 7-11 • Respect and boundaries
Relationship Health Checklist
Help ākonga identify what healthy relationships look like in friendships, teams, whānau, and online spaces, then notice where stronger boundaries, communication, repair, or support may be needed.
Free checklist, premium localisation path
This checklist is ready for immediate classroom use. The premium workflow becomes useful when you want age-specific relationship scenarios, school-context examples, or a version adapted for sports teams, online behaviour, or whānau mentoring conversations.
- Generate junior or senior relationship scenarios.
- Adapt the prompts for online safety, friendship, or group-work contexts.
- Save a local version for tutor or dean check-ins inside My Kete.
Kaiako planning snapshot
- Use length: 20-35 minutes for discussion and reflection, or longer if paired with scenario work and boundary practice.
- Grouping: Whole-class modelling first, then pairs, small groups, or private reflection.
- Prep: Decide whether students will work from friendships, teams, online examples, whānau contexts, or fictional scenarios.
- Teaching move: Make it clear that “healthy relationships” applies beyond romance. Friendship, teamwork, whānau, and online spaces all count.
Resources already provided
- Healthy-relationship indicators
- Yellow-flag reflection prompts
- Boundary and repair sentence starters
- Safety escalation prompt
- Commitment reflection
- Curriculum companion for planning and reporting
If the lesson mentions respect, boundaries, communication, or support pathways, the practical scaffolds are already on this page.
Ngā Whāinga Akoranga / Learning Intentions
- We are learning to identify the qualities of healthy relationships.
- We are learning to recognise warning signs around boundaries, communication, and safety.
- We are learning to choose respectful next steps and support pathways when something feels wrong.
Paearu Angitu / Success Criteria
- I can explain what respect, boundaries, trust, and safety look like in a relationship.
- I can use the checklist to evaluate a real or fictional example.
- I can identify a next step or support option if a relationship pattern feels unhealthy.
Curriculum integration / Te Marautanga alignment
Use the curriculum companion to make the relationship-skills, safety, communication, and help-seeking links explicit when this handout sits inside a wider health or pastoral learning sequence.
Healthy relationships are part of hauora
Relationships affect taha whānau directly, but they also shape confidence, stress, belonging, and physical safety. That is why relationship learning belongs inside hauora rather than sitting as a disconnected behaviour lesson.
Keep the task mana-enhancing. Students should not be pressured to disclose private experiences in front of others.
What healthy relationships look like
Respect
People listen, value differences, avoid humiliation, and speak to each other with mana.
Boundaries
People respect “no”, personal space, privacy, and consent around information, touch, and time.
Communication
People speak honestly, repair misunderstandings, and can disagree without cruelty or threats.
Trust and repair
People keep promises where possible, own mistakes, apologise properly, and try to rebuild trust when harm happens.
Safety
No coercion, threats, intimidation, stalking, or pressure. Safety matters online as much as offline.
Checklist in action
| Area | Green flags | Yellow flags to notice | My notes or evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Respect | kind language, listening, difference accepted | mocking, put-downs, exclusion, gossip | |
| Boundaries | asks first, respects privacy, accepts “no” | pressure, sharing private info, ignoring limits | |
| Communication | honest, calm, clear, repair after conflict | silent treatment, threats, manipulation, blame | |
| Safety | feels secure, no fear, no coercion | control, pressure, fear, unsafe online behaviour | |
| Support | trusted adults and friends are available | isolation, secrets, cutting off support |
Sentence starters for boundaries and repair
Setting a boundary
“I am not okay with…”
“Please ask before…”
“I need you to stop…”
Checking in respectfully
“Are you okay with this?”
“What do you need from me right now?”
“Do you want to talk, take space, or get support?”
Repairing harm
“I was wrong when I…”
“I can see that affected you by…”
“Next time I will…”
Seeking support
“Something about this relationship feels off.”
“I need help figuring out a safe next step.”
“Can I talk this through with you privately?”
If something feels unsafe
Use support straight away
- Pause and do not handle it alone if you feel threatened, pressured, or unsafe.
- Keep evidence if the issue is happening online and it is safe to do so.
- Talk to a trusted adult, kaiako, dean, counsellor, or other support person.
- Follow your school's safety and reporting processes rather than trying to fix serious harm privately.
My commitment to healthier relationships
One thing I will practise more intentionally
Ngā Whāinga Akoranga · Learning Intentions
- Identify the characteristics of healthy, safe, and respectful relationships
- Recognise warning signs in relationships that may indicate harm or imbalance
- Understand how manaakitanga and whanaungatanga guide Māori approaches to relationships
- Apply checklist criteria to real or fictional relationship scenarios
Paearu Angitu · Success Criteria
- I can identify at least three features of a healthy relationship using clear language
- I can name specific warning signs and explain why they matter for wellbeing
- I have reflected on the relationships in my own life using the checklist criteria
- I can connect relationship health to the taha whānau pou of Te Whare Tapa Whā
Hononga Marautanga · Curriculum Alignment
Health and Physical Education — Hauora
Level 3–4: Identify and describe the relationship between feelings, thoughts, and actions; develop strategies to maintain and enhance hauora across the four pou of Te Whare Tapa Whā; recognise the impact of connections and relationships on wellbeing.
Social Sciences — Tikanga ā-Iwi
Level 3–4: Understand how cultural practices and values shape identity and wellbeing; recognise the role of community and whānau in supporting individuals; explore how Indigenous frameworks offer ways of understanding health that are distinct from Western biomedical models.
Aronga Mātauranga Māori
In te ao Māori, relationships (whanaungatanga) are not supplementary to health — they are foundational to it. Taha whānau is one of the four pou of Te Whare Tapa Whā precisely because isolation damages wellbeing in ways that no individual action can fully repair. This checklist asks students to examine what makes relationships feel safe, reciprocal, and mana-enhancing — language that comes directly from the Māori concept of manaaki, to honour and uphold the mana of others in our interactions.
Ngā Rauemi Tautoko · Support Materials
- Unit 8 Support Circle (unit-8-support-circle.html) — map the healthy relationships in your life
- Unit 8 Help-Seeking Plan (unit-8-help-seeking-plan.html) — what to do if a relationship concern needs action
- Unit 8 Support Pathways (unit-8-support-pathways.html) — school and community support structures
- Unit 8 Whānau Conversation Card (unit-8-whanau-conversation-card.html) — kōrero about relationships at home
Tuhia ōu whakaaro · Write Your Thoughts
Think of a relationship you value. What makes it healthy? What would you want to protect or strengthen?