Years 7–8 · English · Reference module

Lesson 8: Editing & Revision — The Writer’s True Craft

Revise meaning and structure before proofreading the surface, keeping a record of decisions that materially improve a draft.

Ngā Whāinga Akoranga — Learning intentions

We are learning to: We are learning to distinguish consequential revision from surface correction.

Success evidence: I can diagnose a draft at meaning, shape, and surface levels, make one change at each level, and explain the highest-leverage revision.

Te Whakatakotoranga | Run of show

  1. Diagnose the draft 6 min
  2. Model substantive revision 10 min
  3. Gather evidence-based feedback 14 min
  4. Redraft the passage 20 min
  5. Copy-edit after revising 7 min
  6. Name the improvement 3 min

Total: 60 minutes.

Tirohanga whānui | What this module is doing

This module fails when “editing” means correcting spelling on a weak draft. Proofreading cannot rescue an unclear purpose, missing idea, or broken sequence.

You’ll need

  • Open Workshop 8 and display the two market paragraphs.
  • Ask learners to bring one 120–250 word draft; provide the supplied draft if they prefer.
  • Prepare three colours for meaning, shape, and surface.
  • Workshop 8 learner page and portfolio evidence rubric.

Do Now — What changed? 6 min

Run it

  1. Compare the original and revision. List changes under meaning, shape, or surface.
  2. Choose the change with greatest reader impact and defend the ranking.

Model — Three passes, in order 10 min

Run it

  1. Pass 1: clarify the central point and remove an unrelated idea.
  2. Pass 2: reorder two sentences and add a missing connection.
  3. Pass 3: correct one boundary and one word choice. Explain why surface comes last.

Guided practice — Diagnose before prescribing 14 min

Run it

  1. Pairs read the supplied draft and write one question at each revision level.
  2. Turn questions into options, not commands: “Could the opening…” rather than “You must…”.
  3. The writer selects one option and states the intended benefit.

Independent draft — Consequential revision 20 min

Run it

  1. Apply one meaning revision, one shape revision, and one surface correction to an earlier or supplied draft.
  2. Keep the old version visible with tracked changes, colour, or a before-and-after extract.
  3. Complete the three-entry revision log in Workshop 8.

Revision — Test the highest-leverage change 7 min

Run it

  1. A partner reads only the revised section and says what is now clearer.
  2. The writer keeps, refines, or rejects feedback and records the decision.

Exit — Revision is evidence 3 min

Run it

  1. Name the change that improved the whole text most and explain why.

Ngā huarahi ako | Differentiation

Tautoko / Support

  • Use the supplied market draft and pre-labelled revision questions.
  • Accept oral explanation or screenshots of tracked changes as revision evidence.

Toitoi / Extension

Make two competing structural revisions, test both with a reader, and justify the final selection.

Evidence choices

Revision evidence may be shown through tracked changes, annotated handwriting, dictation, or a before-and-after audio recording. Require the changed craft decision and its effect, not a long recopied final draft.

Source and cultural-authority boundary

Writers retain ownership of content. Feedback must not demand disclosure, cultural explanation, or a more “authentic” voice; it targets the stated purpose and craft evidence.

Hononga marautanga | Curriculum

Use language features that support analysis of how meaning is shaped, including those identified in the teaching sequence.

Te Mātaiaho · English · Phase 3 · Text Studies · Practices

Learners analyse how changes reshape meaning and reader movement, then adapt the identified features in their own revision.

Honest limit: no active Phase 3 English writing-production statement exists. The verified link is to analysing how features shape meaning before changing those features in a revision; Phase 4 feedback or production wording is not claimed.

Resources and checking