Best for
Years 3-8 health, classroom culture, oral language, restorative conversations, and any lesson where students need better relationship skills than a generic kindness poster.
Health / Relationships • Years 3-8 • Listening, noticing, responding
Empathy & Understanding
Help ākonga move beyond "be nice" into noticing feelings, reading context, and responding with aroha. This handout keeps empathy practical: what you hear, what you notice, what you say, and how you protect another person's mana without assuming you know everything about their experience.
Free relationship scaffold, premium localising path
This public handout already includes the empathy map, scenario prompts, repair stems, and write-on space. Te Wānanga becomes useful when you want the same scaffold rebuilt around your class context, playground issues, sports teams, online conflict, or age-specific role-play.
- Generate a junior version with more visuals and sentence starters.
- Swap in local class scenarios or school values language.
- Save the adapted version in My Kete and revisit it in Creation Studio.
Kaiako planning snapshot
- Use length: 25-35 minutes for one explicit relationship lesson, or shorter as a class-culture reset.
- Grouping: Whole-class modelling first, then pairs, tuakana-teina, or small discussion groups.
- Prep: Choose whether students reflect on personal situations, fictional examples, or shared class scenarios.
- Teaching move: Keep empathy connected to listening and action, not forced disclosure or guessing someone else's life story.
Resources already provided
- Empathy clue cards for what students see, hear, and notice
- Printable empathy map with write-on response space
- Response stems for active listening and support
- Scenario practice and repair prompts
- Differentiated support, core, and stretch pathways
- Teacher-only curriculum companion for planning and reporting
If the lesson mentions scenarios, response prompts, or a repair reflection, those materials are already built into this page.
Ngā Whāinga Akoranga / Learning Intentions
- We are learning to notice clues that help us understand how another person might be feeling.
- We are learning to respond in ways that show manaakitanga and protect another person's mana.
- We are learning to repair situations where empathy was missing.
Paearu Angitu / Success Criteria
- I can name at least two clues that help me understand another person's situation.
- I can choose words or actions that show care instead of judgment.
- I can explain one respectful way to repair harm after a poor response.
Curriculum integration / Te Marautanga alignment
Use the curriculum companion to make the oral-language, relationship, and respectful discussion links explicit when planning a sequence. This handout is strongest when empathy is taught as a real communication skill, not as a vague virtue word.
Empathy in an Aotearoa classroom
Empathy is not mind-reading. It is paying attention, listening carefully, and responding in a way that shows aroha and respect. In Te Ao Māori, this sits close to manaakitanga: noticing the needs of others and responding in a way that upholds connection and dignity.
That means students need permission to be thoughtful without pretending they fully know what another person is going through.
What clues help us understand another person?
Look
Facial expression, body language, distance, and whether someone is joining in or withdrawing.
Listen
Tone of voice, short answers, silence, repeated words, or a sudden change in how someone is speaking.
Notice context
What happened before this moment? Was there a loss, argument, disappointment, mistake, or public embarrassment?
Check respectfully
Ask, do not assume: "Do you want help?" "Would you like some space?" "Do you want to talk?"
Empathy map
| What happened? | What clues do I notice? | What might the person be feeling? | What could I say or do? |
|---|---|---|---|
If you are not sure what the person feels, write a respectful question you could ask instead of making an assumption.
Response stems that show aroha
When someone is disappointed
"That looks really tough. Do you want me to sit with you for a minute?"
When someone is worried
"I can see this matters to you. What would help right now?"
When someone is angry
"I can hear you're upset. Do you need space, or do you want to talk after a pause?"
Scenario practice
Scenario 1
A classmate made a mistake while reading aloud and some people laughed.
Scenario 2
Your friend has gone very quiet after lunchtime and does not want to join the game.
Scenario 3
Someone posts a mean comment in a class online space and another student looks upset.
If empathy was missing, how could we repair it?
- Name the action that caused harm.
- Acknowledge the effect on the other person's mana.
- Say what you will do differently next time.
Different pathways
Support
Use one scenario, emoji clues, and the sentence stems above. Work with a partner or tuakana.
Core
Complete the empathy map and one written repair response using your own wording.
Stretch
Write or role-play a two-step conversation that begins with empathy and moves into problem solving.
Hononga Marautanga · Curriculum Alignment
Social Sciences — Tikanga ā-Iwi
Level 3–4: Investigate social, cultural, environmental, and economic questions; gather and evaluate evidence from diverse sources; communicate findings and reasoning clearly for different audiences and purposes.
English — Communication
Level 3–4: Read, interpret, and evaluate information texts; write clearly and purposefully for specific audiences; apply critical thinking skills to evaluate sources and construct well-reasoned responses.
Aronga Mātauranga Māori
This resource sits within a kaupapa that recognises mātauranga Māori as a living knowledge system with its own frameworks, values, and ways of understanding the world. The New Zealand Curriculum calls for learning that reflects the bicultural partnership of Te Tiriti o Waitangi, which means every subject area has an obligation to engage authentically with Māori perspectives — not as cultural decoration but as substantive contributions to how we understand our topics. The concepts of manaakitanga (care for others), kaitiakitanga (guardianship), whanaungatanga (relationship and belonging), and tino rangatiratanga (self-determination) provide a values framework applicable across all learning areas, and all are relevant to the work in this handout.
Ngā Rauemi Tautoko · Support Materials
This handout is designed to be used alongside the broader unit resources available at Te Kete Ako handouts library. Related resources from the same unit are linked in the unit planner. All resources are provided — no additional preparation is required to use this handout in your classroom.